MOAR POSTS PLZ

What happened is that I thought you all would appreciate an update more when you were least expecting it.

Surprise!

Happy New Year. My resolutions are to post on my dinosaur blog more and to find someone who will talk about Wizards of Waverly Place Season 4 with me.

So when my friend Wild Kyle (check out his awesome Reuben blog at http://www.perfectreuben.com/) (Kyle update your blog) kindly pointed out it was really past time to update, I dusted off the old "Dinosaur Stuff" folder on my desktop to find some inspiration.

Things I did find:

- A lot of awesome Dinomerch that I did not receive for Chanukkah

- A terrifying picture of Barney

- a document that I don't remember writing featuring such gems as

"IS THIS A GOOD OR A TERRIBLE IDEA? SOMETIMES THE LINE IS PRETTY BLURRY"

"Like when they made a Jewish American Girl doll, finally, the tyranosaurus rex could see a real reflection of themselves in the media. "

And the detailed menu plans for a restaurant I plan to open called "Presto, Pesto".

Things I did not find:

- Useful stuff for writing an update.

So I turned to something called "internet". The internet has a lot of stuff about dinosaurs. I read some of it, and I found an article called "Tyrannosaurus Had Extra Junk in the Trunk". While this is somewhat insensitive to the noble Tyrannosaurus Rex, since we all know about how they have body image issues, it is enough to get me to read the rest of the article.

The gist of the article is that the T-Rex's tail is larger and boxier than previously thought. This made the fearsome, "big-boned", machines of death better runners. To be honest, it all got pretty science-y in the article and I got bored.

What is cool about this:

- T-REX'S ARE DEADLIER THAN EVER WHOOOOOOOOOOO. Like they even needed to be cooler, am I right?! (I am.) (They're so cool you guys)

- One of the main researchers is named "W. Scott. Persons IV". I am pretty sure he is not a real person and is actually a cyborg sent from the future to tell us something important in order to save society, and this means dinosaurs are coming back. That can't be a real name, right? Man, I wonder what the "W" stands for. Probably it's something so futuristic we can't even know it yet.

The article features this pictures, with an updated dino-derriere.

http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/dinosaur/2010/11/tyrannosaurus-had-extra-junk-in-the-trunk/

This picture looks like the T-Rex is seriously breaking it down with some dance movies right now, right? I am playing some Ke$ha in my head for its soundtrack, I recommend you do the same.

Okay, honestly this time, I do plan on updating again really soon since I'm sitting around and I just found a really good article about dinosaur discoveries in 2010.

Also sorry if this sucks, it is late and I really haven't updated in SO LONG.

Kyle update your blog.

My Blag

Story time: I have not updated my blog in a while, we are all aware of this. I am hyper aware of this, because there is a lot of stress involved in being a dinosaur blogger. So I go to update it this evening, innocently hoping to use it as a quick study break.

Anyway, it turns out it's been so long I'd forgotten how to log in. 20 minutes later, here we are! Enjoy!

1) The new, beefier velociraptor:

They find a velociraptor with a different bone structure, and their main adjective is "stocky". As in, this is the stockier velociraptor. You know, the one with a more achievable body weight. It always wanted to lose those last 5 pounds, but it was just big boned. Maybe this velociraptor couldn't always wear designer fashions, but had real curves like real, everyday dinosaurs. I think this is a velociraptor that we can all relate to. Sure it may try to kill you, but with I think a deeper understanding of the life it's taking away. (Regular velocripators are skinny bitches)

Sadly, there is no similarly delightful picture of a big-boned dinosaur to accompany the article. I blame BBC.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11137905

2) Hipster Dinosaurs! These appeared online recently, and they are great. Special shout out to Doug, who sent me this link.

Of course, we've always known dinosaurs were hipsters. As the old saying goes: "Fucking hipsters."

Dinosaurs didn't go extinct. They just left because Earth became so mainstream.

Here is one of the most apt, but you should check them all out. Unless you already did, before they were really popular.

http://imgur.com/a/A379E/hipster_dinosaurs

(sidenote: When I was five I read a book about Pompeii and became utterly convinced we were all going to die since our backyard would become a volcano. I had an escape route and everything, so my family maybe would have survived.)

3) There's good and bad news about this comb. The good news is that this comb is AMAZING. If I learned anything from the Flintstones, and believe me, I did, it's that dinosaur bones are all-purpose tools. Finally, we can start wearing dinosaur bones in our hair and having them pull our cars around. (Good for reduced emissions! Bad for animal rights.)

Bad news: I went to a curly hair salon and they told me not to comb my hair anymore. Sadfaces forever.

However, this bad news only applies to me, so carry forth and comb like the Flintstones did! I hope is not the last time their style icon status is appreciated.

http://www.perpetualkid.com/bonehead-dinosaur-folding-brush-comb.aspx

So, there we go! Hopefully I will be updating more often, since now I'm around people who remember I have a blog and will shame me into writing.

And I will write about Rex from "Toy Story" one day, but it is not this day. It's possible I already wrote about him, but I'm saving him until next time. THE SUSPENSE.

Until then, keep it real!

" POST ON YOUR BLOG. Please."

LOOK A BLOG UPDATE ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
In my defense, I've been busy quitting a terrible internship, writing mediocre sketches, and e-mailing friends who are inexplicably far far away from me. Many of you, for instance. But enough about me. Dinosaurs!

First order of business:

This one is kind of complicated, dinobros.



http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20727713.500-morphosaurs-how-shapeshifting-dinosaurs-deceived-us.html

According to this article, the triceratops did not actually exist! I know! Whaaaat? It turns out there's something called a "torosaurus", and the triceratops is just the juvenile version. First of all, what the fuck is a torosaurus? I preach love for all dinosaurs, but come on. If anything, the torosaurus should be a grown up, lesser version of the tricerotops.

I say, take action! Pluto never left our hearts, and neither will the triceratops. What would Sara from "The Land Before Time" say? Something completely bitchy to cover up her angst-ridden, secretly nice interior. Do we want to lose that awesome a character? Sarah dared to take a stand! We owe it to her to do the same.

However! The good news is that there's a reason the triceratops is a different version is because dinosaur skulls can shift shapes. If this isn't proof that dinosaurs are magic, than I don't know what is. Also, things are looking up for my theory that dinosaurs are actually still alive and just waiting for the right moment to strike.

(Sidenote: Hopefully they will look upon me favorably due to this fan blog)


Secondly: This dude!


You may not agree with him, but you can't deny that he knows his stuff. I'll be honest, I didn't know all of the dinosaurs named in this video.

Anyway! It's kind of delightful! I recommend watching it, unless you already have, in which case you can make your own decision.

So for real this time, I'm going to update more regularly. I'll be on the look out for any dinosaur- related business, and please send me anything relevant!

NEXT POST: T-Rex from "Toy Story", and why he's my favorite of all time.

"I'm Really Stressed Out" "Is It About Dinosaurs?"

So. Dinosaur in the room, I'm just going to get it out of the way.

I have failed you. Not disappointed you, but totally and utterly failed. It would be hard to fail worse than I have.

I could have cut out some time from my twice- daily naps to update, or written a quick post between episodes of "Glee" and "Lost". And yet, I hoarded all the dinosaur news for myself.

So, here we are. I hope you will forgive me, and that we can move past this.

Now that we are past this (that paragraph space was for both of us to have some deep thoughts) Dinosaur Lists! Yay!

1) Food Related Dinosaur Business!

My friend Dan the Dino Man sent me this awe-inspiring link:

http://www.amazon.com/DynoBytes-Stainless-Steel-Sandwich-Cutter/dp/B003G4SKU4/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&tag=write-20&qid=1274333420&sr=8-4

This could turn instantly improve every one of your sandwich experiences! That's already at a high standard! My sandwich experiences have been some of my best experiences.

With these DynoBytes Sandwich Cutters, you could enact the most basic and brutal example of man vs. nature, or Man eats Dinosaur If you're power hungry or just wonder what dinosaurs taste like (sometimes like peanut butter and jelly) then DUDE THIS IS AWESOME.

2) This Baller Sweatshirt

http://www.threadless.com/product/2287/Know_Your_Dinosaurs#zoom

So, this sweatshirt is baller, and wearing it makes you a baller. For instance, I am already a boss. When I put on this sweatshirt (fuck yeah I own it) I am elevated. I go from "Lisa YES!ley, dinosaur blogger, to Lisa YES!ley, dinosaur blogger and owner of the best sweatshirt you will ever see in your whole dang life".

It features the fierceness of the T-Rex, but also the sweet and caring side of many other dinosaurs. It's multi-faceted, is what I'm saying.

Also, it is really fuzzy inside.

3) So back in the days of yore, when this blog was just starting out and had not yet reached monumental success, I posted a clip of stand up comedy from Aziz Ansari. He was talking about going to a Walking With DInosaurs Exhibit. Here I present a youtube video of an animatronic Walking with DInosaurs performance. It is epic to say the least, and hopefully I'll have a chance to check it out for myself sometime this summer.

So, this about does it!

I will try to post more frequently now that I am home, and hope to never fail you like this again.

Peace, Love, Dinosaurs.

This Post is Heavily Researched

Hello Dear Readers!

I apologize for not updating in a while, but exciting things have happened in this dino-verse.

I went to a dinosaur exhibit and Philly, and now present my extensive findings to you, exclusively.

First!

Ballers in Dinosaur History!

So these are some folks who researched dinosaurs like a boss.

1) Dr. John Ostrom

In 1969, Ostrom, your new hero, discovered the Deinonyclus. Now, while this may sound like your run of the mill totally awesome discovery of an extinct species that once roamed the earth but now exists only in imprints of its former self, it is in reality so much more.

The build of the Deinonyclus meant indicated that the animal was built for speed and was warm-blooded. Up until this discovery, everybody thought that dinosaurs moved slowly and didn't really get up to much.

Realize what this means.

Without this discovery, dinosaurs would be the lamest things ever. A bunch of giant reptiles moving around slowly whilst eating leaves? BORING.

Dinosaurs running around and chasing other dinosaurs? AWESOME.

This knowledge is the basis behind everything terrifying we know about dinosaurs: that they can chase us, open doors at some very specific times, and generally rule the prehistoric earth.

2) Edward Drinker Cope

My notes on Sir Drinker Cope say "He discovered lots of dinosaurs." Thanks, past me. I don't really feel like looking further into this, since I think my notes say it all. Anybody that discovers lots of dinosaurs is okay by me!

Also, his middle name is drinker. I know I'm repeating myself, but what a boss.

Second!

Fascinating Paleontological Questions Posed by The Exhibit:

"Do you think an Ultrasaurus could play catch? How about T-rex?"

So, I want to say no, but I what if T-rexs are secretly awesome at catch? Like what their arms lack in size they make for in strength with throws?

Sadly, I guess we'll never know now.

Next Post: Fan submissions! AKA things about dinosaurs my friends have posted on my facebook wall.

"Wait, Does Lisa Really Like Dinosaurs or Something?"

This post exists to prove that I can walk the walk, since by now I have talked quite a bit of talk. Here I present to you visual proof that I own quite a bit of dinosaur merchandise.

FIRST!

So this is pretty much my prized posession. I believe that when I'm old and succesful, and my old and succesful friends come over to tour my house or something (this is a thing that happens, I think) I will show them my nice vases, paintings, and my giant stuffed T-Rex. I can guess which one they will be most enchanted by! Unless I have some baller T-rex themed vases, which may well happen.

Here is T-Rex worshipping at the altar of Lady Gaga:

(Side note: This Lady Gaga collage was made for me by my best friend organ, whose birthday is today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MORGAN)

(Correction: Her name is Morgan, not organ. A commonly made mistake.)

Next up! My dinosaur water bottle! The packaging said this was for, I believe, ages 3 to 8 or so. I reject this way of thinking, since who had an actual water bottle in pre through elementary school? Also, the package and placement of the water bottle in the store indicated that this was meant for boys, since the pink flowery one was for girls, but again, this blog is college Students who love dinosaurs, not college Dudes/bros who love dinosaurs.

(Side note #2: This is useless if you actually need water for athletic activity, the age labeling is maybe kind of accurate? Bring it to all of your athletic events anyway and keep refilling it a million and one times. People will compliment you since it has dinosaurs on it. I know this from hard life experience)

Finally! At Ultimate Frisbee tournaments, often teams will sell their team discs. Occasionally those discs are awesome. This was one such time:

The Disc says "Ruckus" because that's their team's name (University of Vermont), but it also says Ruckus because that is what dinosaurs cause.

And more finally than the last time I said finally, I am going to the Academy of Natural Sciences next weekend for my fan culture final project, expect a post on my extensive findings.

"With Great Blogging Comes Great Responsibility" -anonymous

Warning: This post is made up of of undiluted joy. Read on if you can handle it.

First, a rousing anthem! This is a song by They Might be Giants, a band of with lots of famous songs. Most notably, the "Malcolm in the Middle" theme song. (Remember Malcolm in the Middle? What was up with that show? Literally the only thing I remember about it was this extreme close up of Frankie Muniz's face in the credits.) (Also maybe that's not most notably, but come on, we all remember that song)

Officially this is from a kids' album, but, um, read the title of this blog. We're taking it back, bitches. In the place of all of the happy smiling kids jumping around in this spectacular music video masterpiece, imagine you and your college-aged peers.

Admit it, you totally knew it was a Pachycephalosaurus before all those dumbass kids did. We are college students, here us roar. With knowledge!

Secondofly, the second most magical blog in the world, close on the heels of this one.

http://bubleraptor.tumblr.com/

This is an entire blog of pictures of the singer Michael Buble being stalked by velociraptors, and it is exactly as amazing as it sounds. We have all felt at some point like a velociraptor is following us through our daily motions, just waiting for us to make a false move, but Michael Buble is actually living in such a reality. Or it's photoshopped. I am keeping an open mind.

It is something I didn't know I needed in my life until I had one, much like a snuggie or a giant stuffed T-rex. Although I did have a premonition about the giant stuffed T-rex.

Lastly, and speaking of things you don't know you needed until the exist, I am doing a final project for one of my classes on what I am calling Dinosaur Culture. Yes, loyal fans (all 7 of you!) we are creating a new culture. A better culture. One about the multi-faceted, dangerous yet sexy appeal of dinosaurs. We are Paleontologists!

Also, I strongly recommend having lengthy academic conversations about Dinosaur Culture. Just drop it into any area of study, your professors will surely be delighted.