This Post is Heavily Researched

Hello Dear Readers!

I apologize for not updating in a while, but exciting things have happened in this dino-verse.

I went to a dinosaur exhibit and Philly, and now present my extensive findings to you, exclusively.

First!

Ballers in Dinosaur History!

So these are some folks who researched dinosaurs like a boss.

1) Dr. John Ostrom

In 1969, Ostrom, your new hero, discovered the Deinonyclus. Now, while this may sound like your run of the mill totally awesome discovery of an extinct species that once roamed the earth but now exists only in imprints of its former self, it is in reality so much more.

The build of the Deinonyclus meant indicated that the animal was built for speed and was warm-blooded. Up until this discovery, everybody thought that dinosaurs moved slowly and didn't really get up to much.

Realize what this means.

Without this discovery, dinosaurs would be the lamest things ever. A bunch of giant reptiles moving around slowly whilst eating leaves? BORING.

Dinosaurs running around and chasing other dinosaurs? AWESOME.

This knowledge is the basis behind everything terrifying we know about dinosaurs: that they can chase us, open doors at some very specific times, and generally rule the prehistoric earth.

2) Edward Drinker Cope

My notes on Sir Drinker Cope say "He discovered lots of dinosaurs." Thanks, past me. I don't really feel like looking further into this, since I think my notes say it all. Anybody that discovers lots of dinosaurs is okay by me!

Also, his middle name is drinker. I know I'm repeating myself, but what a boss.

Second!

Fascinating Paleontological Questions Posed by The Exhibit:

"Do you think an Ultrasaurus could play catch? How about T-rex?"

So, I want to say no, but I what if T-rexs are secretly awesome at catch? Like what their arms lack in size they make for in strength with throws?

Sadly, I guess we'll never know now.

Next Post: Fan submissions! AKA things about dinosaurs my friends have posted on my facebook wall.

"Wait, Does Lisa Really Like Dinosaurs or Something?"

This post exists to prove that I can walk the walk, since by now I have talked quite a bit of talk. Here I present to you visual proof that I own quite a bit of dinosaur merchandise.

FIRST!

So this is pretty much my prized posession. I believe that when I'm old and succesful, and my old and succesful friends come over to tour my house or something (this is a thing that happens, I think) I will show them my nice vases, paintings, and my giant stuffed T-Rex. I can guess which one they will be most enchanted by! Unless I have some baller T-rex themed vases, which may well happen.

Here is T-Rex worshipping at the altar of Lady Gaga:

(Side note: This Lady Gaga collage was made for me by my best friend organ, whose birthday is today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MORGAN)

(Correction: Her name is Morgan, not organ. A commonly made mistake.)

Next up! My dinosaur water bottle! The packaging said this was for, I believe, ages 3 to 8 or so. I reject this way of thinking, since who had an actual water bottle in pre through elementary school? Also, the package and placement of the water bottle in the store indicated that this was meant for boys, since the pink flowery one was for girls, but again, this blog is college Students who love dinosaurs, not college Dudes/bros who love dinosaurs.

(Side note #2: This is useless if you actually need water for athletic activity, the age labeling is maybe kind of accurate? Bring it to all of your athletic events anyway and keep refilling it a million and one times. People will compliment you since it has dinosaurs on it. I know this from hard life experience)

Finally! At Ultimate Frisbee tournaments, often teams will sell their team discs. Occasionally those discs are awesome. This was one such time:

The Disc says "Ruckus" because that's their team's name (University of Vermont), but it also says Ruckus because that is what dinosaurs cause.

And more finally than the last time I said finally, I am going to the Academy of Natural Sciences next weekend for my fan culture final project, expect a post on my extensive findings.

"With Great Blogging Comes Great Responsibility" -anonymous

Warning: This post is made up of of undiluted joy. Read on if you can handle it.

First, a rousing anthem! This is a song by They Might be Giants, a band of with lots of famous songs. Most notably, the "Malcolm in the Middle" theme song. (Remember Malcolm in the Middle? What was up with that show? Literally the only thing I remember about it was this extreme close up of Frankie Muniz's face in the credits.) (Also maybe that's not most notably, but come on, we all remember that song)

Officially this is from a kids' album, but, um, read the title of this blog. We're taking it back, bitches. In the place of all of the happy smiling kids jumping around in this spectacular music video masterpiece, imagine you and your college-aged peers.

Admit it, you totally knew it was a Pachycephalosaurus before all those dumbass kids did. We are college students, here us roar. With knowledge!

Secondofly, the second most magical blog in the world, close on the heels of this one.

http://bubleraptor.tumblr.com/

This is an entire blog of pictures of the singer Michael Buble being stalked by velociraptors, and it is exactly as amazing as it sounds. We have all felt at some point like a velociraptor is following us through our daily motions, just waiting for us to make a false move, but Michael Buble is actually living in such a reality. Or it's photoshopped. I am keeping an open mind.

It is something I didn't know I needed in my life until I had one, much like a snuggie or a giant stuffed T-rex. Although I did have a premonition about the giant stuffed T-rex.

Lastly, and speaking of things you don't know you needed until the exist, I am doing a final project for one of my classes on what I am calling Dinosaur Culture. Yes, loyal fans (all 7 of you!) we are creating a new culture. A better culture. One about the multi-faceted, dangerous yet sexy appeal of dinosaurs. We are Paleontologists!

Also, I strongly recommend having lengthy academic conversations about Dinosaur Culture. Just drop it into any area of study, your professors will surely be delighted.

Rawr Rawr Rah Ah Ah

Happy Spring time! So the weather is warm, the sun is shining, and we all want to hear about some dinosaurs. Some of you more than others. You know who you are.

So I'm bringing you some comics about dinosaurs!

This one I found on reddit, and I would say it's delightful, but I think that would be redundant. I would like to think there is a place deep inside of me that believes this is how a dinosaur with a tophat would act, but that part of me is actually right there on the surface. You can't wreak havoc wearing a top hat! It would be so classless!

I found this through reddit, at http://www.myconfinedspace.com/2010/03/19/rarr-imma-dinosaur/, and I love it.

This blog isn't all fun and games, sometimes it's about provoking thought. This is a comic that really made me think. I'm going to assume you've all seen the cinematic masterpiece Jurassic Park, and perhaps read the book, and were scared out of your minds of velociraptors. They can open doors! That's human kind's last defense!

Paleoenthusiasts, what would you do/ will you do when the raptors attack? Presumably we could create some sort of door handle that would be impenetrable to the noble beasts, but will it be in time? The kids in Jurassic Park hid inside some sort of metal box thing (...right? I could be wrong about that) but we don't all have a convenient metal box thing handy. I don't fit into my dorm room fridge, it's useless against velociraptors. Useless!

Found at www.xkcd.com

And I leave you with a random thought: what if Lady Gaga did a music video that featured dinosaurs?

Just think about it. Would we as a society be able to handle it? (hint: I would not?)

The simplest way to let people know how cool you are is to wear clothing that features dinosaurs. Ask anyone!

I have made it my business to go around the internet, searching far and wide for such clothing. I'm not going to lie to you; this was not 100 percent selfless. Regardless of any ulterior motives I may have had, here is a comprehensive selection of only the finest dinosaur-related gear (again, handy list format! I swear I will knock it off with the lists after this one):

1) I want this so badly, I can't even describe it.

Sometimes I think about how amazing it would be to wear that all around, and if someone was like, cool dino-hoodie, I would be like,

you have no idea and then cross my arms. I expect a lot of minds would explode for the sheer coolness of that.

This is from the website Mouthman Ap

parel. They have a lot of hoodies like this (minus the dinosaur) and seem awesome.
http://www.mouthman.com/product_p/mm-3103.htm


2) This is entitled, on the website, "T-Rex's Busy Day". I have (almost) no further comment.

This goes back to my obsession with Dinosaur Comics, by Ryan North. I love pretty much everything in the comic store, and have bought most of the t-shirts for friends in acts of selflessness that I totally did not regret (except sometimes when I really wanted the t-shirt) (mostly I was just excited when said friends wore them). I think the theme of this entry is that I am inherently selfish, but that's the human condition or something, so I figure it's okay.


This is one of my favorite shirts. It has T-rex flying through the air by clinging to a bunch of balloons. That is three delightful things in one (flight, balloons, and T-Rex) and so there's not really a way to dislike it.

I recommend going through the entire store, it has tons of amazing products that will definitely make people impressed with your personal taste and style. http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QW-BUSYDAY&Category_Code=QW

And whatever, so maybe I had a couple of comments.

3) This is from Sunday Morning Breakfast Cartoons. It features a heroic dinosaur, a microcosm of heroic dinosaurs everywhere.
I think part of our (read: my) obsession with dinosaurs comes from their mysterious history; we don't know exactly how they went extinct, we make guesses about their total outward appearance, and how they all related to one another. Imagining them as heroes, sacrificing themselves to save the earth, is both hilarious and something a part of me would like to believe is totally real. Like Hogwarts and UFOs. (Note: Earlier today from my dorm a bunch of us saw a mysterious flashing green light in the sky for about 10 seconds. Was it A) Someone performing Avada Kedavra, B) Weird Wiring, or C) A UFO? Those are the only options, I'm pretty sure.)

http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=SMBC-DINOSAVE&Category_Code=SMBC

4) I think thing #4 will be another anonymous dinosaur related quote, like last time.

Quoth a friend: "The first time I got high, me and my friend watched "The Land Before Time". It was amazing."

Hope this helps those of you with fashion indecision, looking to dress just a little bit cooler!

"Hey, You Know Whose Blog Hasn't Been Updated in a While?

So my as my friends have helpfully pointed out, this blog has not been updated in a few days, and you are not getting the dinosaur information that you rely upon it for.

Never fear! Here is a megapost, full of dinosaur-related stand up hilarity/ music just for you! In helpful list format, so that you may bookmark it as a list. I don't really know if anybody else has a "lists" tag, but I find it very helpful. A tip from me to you! Anyway:

1) Eddie Izzard, King of Comedy, giving a thorough and accurate account of the history of Dinosaurs. He brings in a bit of theology as well, to give it some weight. And/or, it is one of the funniest bits of stand up ever performed. It depends on your interpretations of history, I guess.



Enjoy! It's kind of long, but definitely worth it.


2) Aziz Ansari! Walking with Dinosaurs! Dinosaurs are not really the point of this bit, but, still relevant! I used to find Aziz Ansari kind of obnoxious, but then I realized he was actually amazing, so that worked out well! Check out his comedy special "Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening".








3) Reginasaurus! This is a cute little song by Regina Spektor, all around awesome musician, that is maybe not totally about dinosaurs, but is still adorable and a great idea. I love the opening line, "If I was a dinosaur, I'd be a Reginasaurus."

Reader, what kind of dinosaur would you be? It's possible I would be a Lisasaurus, but perhaps I would be something even wilder. I guess we'll never know, although we can always dream. I choose to believe that if I were a dinosaur, I would have the most fearsome rawr of them all.







4) Bonus! This is not standup or music, but the quote of the day!

"I was walking through the snow pretending to be a dinosaur, going 'rawr' and I thought of you and this blog!"

My goal is to have my name be synonymous with dinosaur news, and this is just the first step.

Dinosaurs Would Crush This Snow in the FACE

Hello All!

So, "Calvin and Hobbes"! I think we can all agree that it's the greatest comic strip ever written, nay, the greatest thing ever written. Calvin was my role model when I was little, and to this day I wish I had the balls to have his completely awesome take on reality.

One of the reoccuring themes in the strip was Calvin's love of dinosaurs. Sometimes he was the dinosaur, sometimes he traveled back in time to do battle with them (accidentally, usually) (the battle, not the time travel) (yeah that's right, Calvin could travel through time), and sometimes they would destroy Susie Derkins for him.

I'm not sure where my inherent love for dinosaurs comes from, but "Calvin and Hobbes" only helped it along. Here is a Sunday issue of the strip in which Calvin imagines discovering dinosaur fossils.

Honestly, discovering dinosaur fossils was a childhood dream of mine. Just keep digging, Calvin, you're an inspiration to us all.