My Blag

Story time: I have not updated my blog in a while, we are all aware of this. I am hyper aware of this, because there is a lot of stress involved in being a dinosaur blogger. So I go to update it this evening, innocently hoping to use it as a quick study break.

Anyway, it turns out it's been so long I'd forgotten how to log in. 20 minutes later, here we are! Enjoy!

1) The new, beefier velociraptor:

They find a velociraptor with a different bone structure, and their main adjective is "stocky". As in, this is the stockier velociraptor. You know, the one with a more achievable body weight. It always wanted to lose those last 5 pounds, but it was just big boned. Maybe this velociraptor couldn't always wear designer fashions, but had real curves like real, everyday dinosaurs. I think this is a velociraptor that we can all relate to. Sure it may try to kill you, but with I think a deeper understanding of the life it's taking away. (Regular velocripators are skinny bitches)

Sadly, there is no similarly delightful picture of a big-boned dinosaur to accompany the article. I blame BBC.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11137905

2) Hipster Dinosaurs! These appeared online recently, and they are great. Special shout out to Doug, who sent me this link.

Of course, we've always known dinosaurs were hipsters. As the old saying goes: "Fucking hipsters."

Dinosaurs didn't go extinct. They just left because Earth became so mainstream.

Here is one of the most apt, but you should check them all out. Unless you already did, before they were really popular.

http://imgur.com/a/A379E/hipster_dinosaurs

(sidenote: When I was five I read a book about Pompeii and became utterly convinced we were all going to die since our backyard would become a volcano. I had an escape route and everything, so my family maybe would have survived.)

3) There's good and bad news about this comb. The good news is that this comb is AMAZING. If I learned anything from the Flintstones, and believe me, I did, it's that dinosaur bones are all-purpose tools. Finally, we can start wearing dinosaur bones in our hair and having them pull our cars around. (Good for reduced emissions! Bad for animal rights.)

Bad news: I went to a curly hair salon and they told me not to comb my hair anymore. Sadfaces forever.

However, this bad news only applies to me, so carry forth and comb like the Flintstones did! I hope is not the last time their style icon status is appreciated.

http://www.perpetualkid.com/bonehead-dinosaur-folding-brush-comb.aspx

So, there we go! Hopefully I will be updating more often, since now I'm around people who remember I have a blog and will shame me into writing.

And I will write about Rex from "Toy Story" one day, but it is not this day. It's possible I already wrote about him, but I'm saving him until next time. THE SUSPENSE.

Until then, keep it real!